it's all about ME.

benaababyy @ 2007-12-12T00:52:00

2007-12-12T08:53:44Z

Lately I've been crying myself to sleep.
There's like... something missing. And I can't really figure out what.
I've been missing Tuan like crazy, and it's weird. I don't know...

oddddddddddd.
Well, I'm late for school & Patrick isn't here yet to pick me up. What a life.
bye.

benaababyy @ 2007-12-10T23:30:00

2007-12-11T07:31:24Z

=[

stupidhormones.

Hmm

2007-12-09T07:28:28Z

I was reading my old diary, and I've come to realized that I hellah changed. Haha.
One thing's for sure tho, and that's me being the happiest I've ever been =]. I'm more happy now than I was 12 months ago, years even. Although I started the year off on a bad note, I'm for sure ending it on a great one. I love where I am in life, and the things I've done and will continue to do. I love my boyfriend more than anything in this world. He's so close to being family that I love him just as much. Just couple more years, I'm sure of it. =]

I miss his mom, well his family. Haha.
They're hellah funny, and so welcoming. I love spending time in that house of his, even when it's just laying down and watching television. I am so going over tomorrow morning, after church haha.

I want to visit my brother already. I don't know if I'm approved yet, but I should be getting notified sometime this month about it. Gosh. I wonder if Tuan would like to come, and if he did, that's another 2 months of waiting.

Hmm, I'm taking very good care of myself. I've been trying to stress less, but whatever. I'm trying to get rid of my anger, but it's hard. It's so easy to get mad nowadays. Hahaha. I thank God Tuan has the patience and tolerance to understand mee and what I go through =]. Love love LOVE the beezy <3

Hmm..

2007-11-28T04:37:25Z

I wonder if she's already found this LJ, but if not I'll address this entry to her anyway.
Jeraldine.
Yes, you. You know exactly who you are.
You're one fucking... person.
You put this image to the world as if you're struggling SO HARD in life, when in fact the people surrounding you are helping you out. You supposedly got kicked out, and who was right there to help? My family. Unlike some other people, they remain stranded and hopeless. You have your parents giving you whatever you want, and so what if they're not truly there like you say they aren't? They're still in your life. Ugh, you're just full of shit, really.

I think you're very fake, yes, fake. The fakest bitch I've ever met in my life.
Apparently I'm the last one to figure that shit out. What a fuckin' life.
Yeah, so many other people think you're fake too. Doesn't that suck? Ha. Nice.
You lie your ass off so people can feel sorry for you. What the fuck ever.
I don't believe you were ever pregnant. Or if Chance is really the baby's father.
Hell, I don't even think you two were together.
Cry me a fuckin' river.
You're dead to me now.

You can't fuckin' take responsibilities for your actions. How I know? What makes me say this?
Look where our fuckin' friendship stands? Down the fuckin' drain.
You're one ungrateful person.
And shameless, too.

Go off to LA. I honestly don't care. I just asked because I really wanted to know if you were leaving. Why? Cus I wanted you out of my house already.
It's either you pay my mother every fuckin' month
or you pay 175 for that termination fee.
It's no option, it's mandatory. Or else...

Oh, quit tryna act like you so gee..
last time I checked, you ran to the office when someone came up to you.
HAAAAA. So much for a gee, right?
And your homies? Where were they when you got kicked out?
I'm starting to believe they ain't real.
HAHAHA.
Oh trust me, if I see you... I will confront. So if I were you, and if you wanted to avoid my wrath,
pay my mom.

You're lucky. Very fuckin' lucky.
Don't come back to my house.
Don't show your face to me.
Keep my name out your mouth.

Soooooo

2007-11-22T06:38:00Z

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I'll be spending it with 3 different families, but it will all be worth it. I'm sure of it.

I am thankful and very fortunate to be alive and on this Earth without any bodily complications.
September 6 will always be embedded in my brain, and it will always have an impact on my life & how I live it.
The only best thing that ever came from that night was the realization of how much I truly care for Tuan. Four days of being officially together, and there he was already capturing the one thing I've held close... my heart. With him, I have learned to never hold back.. especially with my tears, although being with him has caused to cry less and laugh more. He is my sweetest escape from all misery, and I am very lucky to have him apart of my life... apart of me.

I am thankful for my family. Throughout my oh so wonderful year, they've stood by me and supported me with every move I have made. They have seen me suffer, and found every possible answer to help ease the pain. And it worked. I love them for being who they are to me. It makes me acknowledge who I truly want to be become, and where I really need to be. My true happiness lies within them.

I am thankful for the friends I have.
This year was really tough when it came to dealing with friends. I've lost some, but then I've gained so many that mean so much more. One thing for sure, I can never be friends with a person that is a compulsive liar, and feeds off drama. I need better people in my life than those dwelling on the past. Get over it, and live life. Oh, and please purchase your own fashion sense, thanks.